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You might be a redneck grill guy or grill girl if . . .
Yehaw!
. . . you wrote this sign
Your parties are at "the barn."
The kids catch what you grill.
Beer Butt Chicken on the menu.
No chairs? No problem.
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1.You light up the grill and everybody shows up uninvited (but hopefully totin' deer steaks and beer).
2. You don’t recognize some of the guests at the party and don’t really care but then find out they’re relatives (after a little friendly flirting).
3. Your grill is made out of an old oil tank that sprung a leak.
4. You add a little water to the pot of simmering brats, because you hate to waste too much good beer.
5. You throw on a couple of burgers for the dogs.
6. You know the only soft drink that goes well with North Carolina pork barbecue is Cheerwine.
7. Your wife’s kitchen mitts all have grill streak marks.
8. For appetizers, you have red pickled eggs in the gallon jar, homemade jerky, and fried pork rinds.
9. You take special orders but cook everything the same, and no one notices (after a few beers).
10. Everyone knows where the beer is stashed except Grandma and the recently baptized relatives.
11. The band is playing bluegrass, and one of the intoxicated females is clogging on top of the picnic table (made in shop class of course).
12. The party is still going strong the next morning, so someone breaks out the eggs and fat back and sticks a cast iron skillet on the grill.
If you'd like to add to the You Might Be a Redneck Barbecue Guy or Girl, drop me an email at cyndiallison@gmail.com.
Reader Redneck Barbecue Notes
Darleen - You might be if your cousin gets bit by a copper head snake in the outhouse and the doctor in the ER says she probably lived on account of so much moonshine in her system.
Zeb - Momma collects all the used Solo party cups so that she can take 'em home and wash 'em and use them again. Like maybe forever.
Bill - Somebody with no sense gets caught for drunken public cause they wandered out on the road and then everybody has to take up a collection for bail money.
Laura Beth - All the ladies bring the best desserts ever which then you have to figure out how to save room for them and whether you will have to wear fat jeans the next day.
Caleb - Some of the guys drive over on lawnmowers, because they think they can't get arrested for drunk driving on a lawnmower. They can. I checked. LOL.
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